Fit for a Princess.

Oct 17, 2018

The world was watching as the Princess’s carriage pulled up to the castle, and stopped. Eyes in pairs, triplets and eights. Hilltop over hilltop of elephants and spiders, mice and wombats clutching telescopes and televisions; ponds, lakes and seas of peeking dolphins, octopodes and jellyfish; clouds of pigeons, parrots and dragonflies…

…and people on the street in smart dresses and suits.

All waiting as the wheels of the carriage slowly stopped and the doors began to open.

No one could see into the windows, and they had tried. Tried for miles and miles as the carriage made its way by more ponds, more hilltops and clouds. No luck at any angle. Nothing but the carriage itself. It was a good carriage of course, unlike any other and it’d be unfair to ignore it, but they all nonetheless wanted to see inside. The spiders were especially curious about the dress.

There was a giant silence across many lands as that door opened, and even the lands that weren’t that interested politely stopped making noises for a moment.

The Princess opened the door herself and stepped out, first with a tiptoe, then a whole foot with a shoe so beautiful, comfortable and surprisingly practical, it even made the horses jealous.

Her smile as she stepped out was like a giant mirror as, upon seeing she was certainly happy, all the elephants and spiders, mice and wombats, dolphins, octopodes and jellyfish, pigeons, parrots and dragonflies, and people, smiled back.

The dress was a perfect accompaniment to the smile. Bold and, even the spiders would admit, elegantly woven with a lot of skill, a dash of effort and a generous sprinkle of personality.

The Princess proudly walked down the red carpet to the castle, taking time to wave at the patient crowds, far and wide, and thank them for coming. Behind her, the dress trailed on and on from the carriage to the Princess, every footstep revealing another piece of the finest fabric.

It took everyone but the spiders a while to notice, I’m sure you’d understand, as they were all busy looking at the Princess. But a handful of moments later, as it continued to flow from the carriage, all the eyes, in pairs, triples and eights, started looking at the dress and the door it came from.

The Princess was at this point quite far from the carriage but the dress was still connected to both, loose and flowing as ever and causing quite the trouble among the guards who tried to make sure it kept to the carpet.

Soon there was no carpet to be seen, or guards for that matter as the dress flowed on and on from the carriage, on top of them and everything else in its path.

Maybe the carriage really was unlike any other, as the dress was at this point far bigger than anyone had any reason to believe would fit inside. And it kept getting bigger…

At first the crowds excitedly leapt forward to get a chance to touch it but, when it was clear the dress was coming to them faster than they could come to it, they turned the other way and ran.

But it was too late. All the people on the carpet were soon enveloped, children bouncing on top, adults lost underneath.

Someone ran in with scissors, to the relief of those all wrapped up in its ever-thickening layers, but it was like trying to empty an ocean into a tea cup. The scissors quickly disappeared with the rest, along with our unfortunate hero. Softly wrapped and stuck.

The Princess? You could hardly even see the castle anymore. Only a flag waving nervously at the top, as the dress made its way across the many hilltops, lakes, ponds, seas and up towards the clouds and sun.

Maybe this isn’t all that bad an ending or an ending at all. The fabric is very soft, and the stitching is quite perfect if you look at it this closely. It’s probably on its way to you soon, still spilling out of the carriage. And you’ll have a very good night’s sleep when it gets there. I promise you will.

(Congratulations Princess Eugenie, who inspired this story. I hope she doesn’t mind. Dress image in background taken with hope it’s a fair use.)

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