Your replacement baby

I wasn’t invited to the hospital,
When she was giving birth.
I stayed at home and flicked the TV,
Anything that can relieve me of the strain is good right now.
I swipe past messages from lovers,
She doesn’t know I cheated seven times.
They can wait like me.
They can wait like me.
Pour myself some holy water,
By the room where she made love to my guilty body and then smiled all year.
Turn up all the lamps, make it bright in here, rearrange the cushions a while.
It’s like she painted the walls with zero paint and just that smile¬¬
And now I’m waiting for her to come back to me.
I wasn’t invited to the hospital,
When she was giving birth.
I have a little dream,
I dream of fields and running, anything but in this place,
And I dream of us together but I can never get a matching face
To yours though I try all night.
It’s cute but never right.
It’s seven hours since the ambulance,
And the look you gave.
Sirens carry us forever.
From the cradle to the grave.
I wasn’t invited to the hospital,
I paced and waited anticipated everything
But her coming home.
And then the doorbell rings,
It’s practically singing.
And I’m running and I stop myself and think as I open the door
She has power in her eyes,
A face unlike another,
It’s like the glow of daylight.
And she walks over and embraces me.
This is the end of me this is the end of me.
And I don’t hear tears.
I see a hand peak from the blanket.

I feel cold metal in my belly and her eyes are full of fire.
And it is home.
And as she pushes in the knife I know no one can save me,
She says “Say hello to your replacement baby”.

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